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THE REAL AVENGERS

categories: Cartoons / Cocktail Hour

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Sure, Thor, Iron Man and the Hulk are getting a lot of press.

But what about these guys?

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Getting Outside Saturday: Clappers

categories: Cocktail Hour / Getting Outside

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Do you guys know about the journal Ecotone?  I’m hoping that if you visit Bill and Dave’s you do.  It prints great work, occasionally by a guy named Bill.  And it was started by a guy named Dave.  I still write an essay for each issue in a feature called “Out of Place.”  Here’s this issue’s essay:

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Out of Place from Ecotone 13
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Clappers
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In the evenings, when I read and take notes in my journal, I am showered by applause. As you can imagine, it’s a warm and rewarding feeling. I work outside, or as close to outside as you can get while in, my dwelling an 8’ by 8’ writing shack that I built a year ago in my backyard on the edge of the salt marsh. The applause, which begins just before dusk, comes straight off the marsh, though I rarely see a single member of my appreciative audience. Loud but shy, they call from hidden places. And though I know they are birds, I rarely see them. They are named, appropriately enough, clapper rails, and they call to each other with such vehemence that the noise fills the marsh. It’s a strange business for a creature that makes its living by hiding, as if after a full day of secretiveness they are ready to throw it all over, intent on revealing their own hiding places.
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Bill and Dave’s Greatest Hits

categories: Cocktail Hour

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Sometimes Dave and Bill just get nostalgic.  Plus, we know some of you have missed our best stuff!  Here are the links everyone’s clamoring over. Spread the word….

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Dave’s cartoon essay “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Truth in Nonfiction But Were Afraid to Ask

 

 

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Bill on The Author Photo

 

 

 

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The Sweet Sixteen! Here They are…the Best Writin’ Schools in the Country

categories: Cocktail Hour

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Here it is, folks.  You voted and your vote counts.  And now we ask you to vote again on the comments page of this post.  Only one vote per person per school this round please.  But if you like you can vote for two schools, yours and another.  This next round of voting will determine the final 2!  Because how long can we really keep this up?

Observant fans will note that some of the results make no sense.  Teams won that were never in the bracket, teams lost and then reappeared elsewhere, etc… Well, what can we say?  In the spirit of Seth Abramson, we have decided to follow a logic all our own.  (And we wanted to make sure that the top 16 vote getters made it in.)

For more about the match-ups and to vote, keep going:

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Bad Advice Wednesday: Make Like Shakespeare, or at Least Spalding Gray

categories: Bad Advice / Cocktail Hour

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Alas, poor Dave! I knew him, Horatio.

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Write a monologue.

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Yes, that’s it.  Today’s bad advice is to write a monologue. This is not just for writers, but for everyone.  Though if you’re a writer, it’s a magical exercise.  A monologue is one character (or even just a regular person) speaking directly to an audience.  It’s different from a soliloquy, which is a character speaking to himself, audience be damned, though they’re listening in.  It’s how playwrights used to get a character’s thoughts out to the world (filmmakers use flashbacks).  A dramatic monologue?  That’s a character speaking to someone else who’s usually sitting or standing uncomfortably nearby onstage.  An apostrophe is a kind of dramatic monologue, but Continue reading →

Getting Outside Saturday: Spring Goodies

categories: Cocktail Hour / Getting Outside

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It's spring in Maine, and here come the ramps.

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Favorite things.  A sunny spring morning, a walk in the woods, a few things to eat (nothing the settlers wouldn’t have had, and much that the Abenaki before them would have had, too).  I bring a trowel, tease a handful of ramps from the rich soil near a basswood tree –these wild leeks smell sweetly of mild garlic, milder onion, leeks, sure, something of a shallot.  Home, you chop them–the bulbs minced fine-ish, the leaves more course.  A little butter in the crepe pan–no a lot butter, and throw the bulb bits in–quickly, they caramelize.  The leaves go in next, light and full.  Very quickly in the heat and butter they go limp, cooking down the way, say, spinach does–a handful shrinks to a big bite.  You could eat Continue reading →

The MFA Tournament: Help Crown the Best Writing School in the Country (Vote Early and Often)

categories: Cocktail Hour

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THE VOTING IS NOW CLOSED!  WE WILL POST THE SWEET SIXTEEN THIS THURSDAY MAY 3RD.

STAY TUNED! (CAN ‘BAMA BE STOPPED?)

IN THE MEANTIME CHECK OUT TODAY’S CARTOON ESSAY ON HOW WE HAVE BECOME SLAVES TO OUR COMPUTERS AND TOMORROW’S BAD ADVICE ON WRITING.

What’s the best way to decide the top MFA creative writing program in the country? A tournament of course!  Vote on our comments page!

By almost all accounts the current system of ranking MFA programs in creative writing is a crappy one. For starters the rankings of the schools are determined by applicants who have never seen the schools and never had the teachers. That’s right (believe it or not), the rankings depend on the choices of people who are applying to schools, and basing their choices on a variety of criteria, including the ranking system from the year before.  Let me say that again so it is crystal clear: the folks who created the rankings didn’t make any attempt to survey those who have actually experienced the program.  To which we say: Yikes!

“It’s analogous to asking people who are standing outside a restaurant studying the menu how they liked the food,” says novelist Leslie Epstein, who runs the Boston University Writing Program.

Poets &Writers, the magazine that publishes the rankings, replied:

“Why didn’t we survey MFA faculty and students about the quality of MFA programs? To continue the analogy Leslie Epstein used to describe our approach in the press release, that would be like asking diners who only frequent their favorite restaurant to assess the quality of all restaurants.”

Okay, love both restaurant analogies, but can’t help but believe that the first is a little better, that is that talking to people who have tasted the food should factor in.  Right?

So are rankings useless?  Hardly!  They’re fun!  But we here at Bill and Dave’s believe that if you are going to employ a Continue reading →

Bad Advice Wednesday All-Star Guest Post: Whistle While You Wait

categories: Bad Advice / Cocktail Hour

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To be a writer is to be a waiter, and I’m not talking about tables.  Waiting.  It can be the most excruciating part of the whole process.  You spend years working on a book, pounding out a first draft, sweating over the revisions, doing everything you can to bleed your heart out onto the page.  When you finally declare yourself done – or at least done enough to hand the manuscript over for a verdict  — that’s when it begins.  Even if your first reader is just a friend whose opinion you value, it can be brutal.  One day ticks by, then two, then a week.  Has she started reading yet?  Was it so boring that she couldn’t get past the first page?  Does she hate it so much that she needs Continue reading →

Is It Safe to Eat the Fish? And Other Questions Two Years After the Spill

categories: Cocktail Hour / Table For Two: Interviews

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What We Know Two Years Later

by David Gessner and Bethany Kraft, deputy director of the Gulf Restoration Program at the Ocean Conservancy.

David Gessner: Last Friday was the two-year anniversary of the BP disaster. For many of us, the spill is spoken of in the past tense, but for those who live on the Gulf, it is not. What strikes you the most after two years?

Bethany Kraft: Looking back, there is one moment very early on in the summer of 2010 that really stands out to me as a harbinger of the chaos to come. It was late April and the government response was being mobilized in Alabama. I got on the phone with several officials who were in charge of coordinating the placement of the boom that would ostensibly protect our most environmentally sensitive areas from the onslaught of oil. My questions were simple: where had the boom been placed and where would it go in the coming days? The answer I got was both hilarious and terrifying: “We can’t tell you where the boom is or where it is going in because no one has given us a printer.”

We weren’t prepared for a disaster on the scale of the Deepwater Horizon — we didn’t know how to adequately protect our natural resources or our economies or our most vulnerable coastal communities. We didn’t know how a massive volume of oil would impact the Gulf ecosystem. We didn’t have the technology to respond to a deepwater drilling incident. We couldn’t even find a printer to make the maps to tell us where to put boom.

Two years out, I worry that the lessons we swore we would learn in those early months haven’t been given more than the most cursory consideration. I’m concerned that we still have so much to learn about the impacts of the disaster, and I fear that we aren’t any better prepared to address technological disasters than we were two years ago. Continue reading →