Guest contributor: Bill and Dave

The Sweet Sixteen! Here They are…the Best Writin’ Schools in the Country

categories: Cocktail Hour


Here it is, folks.  You voted and your vote counts.  And now we ask you to vote again on the comments page of this post.  Only one vote per person per school this round please.  But if you like you can vote for two schools, yours and another.  This next round of voting will determine the final 2!  Because how long can we really keep this up?

Observant fans will note that some of the results make no sense.  Teams won that were never in the bracket, teams lost and then reappeared elsewhere, etc… Well, what can we say?  In the spirit of Seth Abramson, we have decided to follow a logic all our own.  (And we wanted to make sure that the top 16 vote getters made it in.)

For more about the match-ups and to vote, keep going:

Iowa vs. George Mason

The top-seeded Iowa barely squeaked by a scrappy Florida Atlantic squad, and now face the write-in George Mason, the Washington, D.C. upstart, and their hordes of rabid fans.

Arizona vs. Arizona State

This in-state rivalry is getting ugly.  And bloody.  The two battled to a virtual tie in the first round, inspiring us to throw out the rules and pit them against each other again in the Sweet Sixteen.  Sheriff Arpaio, where are you?

Penn State vs. Alabama

Who doesn’t love plucky Penn State, fighting on valiantly even though their program is going into the crapper?  Meanwhile Alabama dominated the early rounds, the Tide garnering more votes, and rah-rah spirit, than any other school.  They also used the word “dick” a lot.  Does that mean that they are the country’s best writing school?  You decide.

The New School vs. San Diego State

The New School surprised everyone by digging in for tough wins, even with the crowd chanting “What’s so new about you, what’s so new about you, you were founded in 1919, boo-hoo!”  Their curious alliance with The Ohio State University team (it’s the THE, said retiring great OSU coach Lee K. Abbott) no doubt helped their game.  San Diego State, no article to speak of, came out of nowhere to dominate, and only the one incident to mar their performance.  You know what I’m talking about, Staties.  Also, our niece Rosalie (yes, Bill and Dave’s is an uncle, and many times over), attends SDSU as an undergrad, really our only chance at some nepotism here.

Vermont College vs. Goddard

From the land of Saint Bernie Sanders, also gods Ben and Jerry, a blistering rivalry between two fine low-res programs in the Green Mountain State.  But fans have found that low-res means hi-intensity!  Brother against brother, sister against sister, this stands to be one of the fiercest face-offs of the century.  And folks, that’s twelve whole years!

Virginia Tech vs. Ashland
Tiny Ashland is winning hearts all over the country, dominating from its rusty berth in post-industrial northern Ohio.  But the bigger, if equally lovable, Virginia Tech, might be sending Cinderella home in a pumpkin driven by rats.

UNCW vs. THE Ohio State University
It’s true that UNCW has the homecourt advantage here, but their performance in the first rounds was tepid.  Now they’ll set out to prove they deserve the name THE University of North Carolina at Wilmington.  And let us not forget where Bill taught for many years: Ohio State.  Can Cocktail Hour survive the strain?

Bowling Green vs. McNeese State

Eleven votes apiece?  That’s a solid matchup.  We suspected some hanging chads on this one, and sure enough, the vote-counting mainframe didn’t know what BGSU stood for.  But what fight from an underlooked organization, and a PhD program too.  Can we talk about McNeese?  There’s no state called McNeese, unless maybe it’s in Ireland!  But coaches Fleury and Taylor have built from the brilliant success of John Wood, and after 30 years in the biz, the McNeese squad rules.   Oh.  Okay.  This just in.  McNeese State is in Louisiana.

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  1. kt writes:
  2. Mel writes:

    VCFA! Because I’ve attended other graduate programs and this one is far superior.

  3. brian treitman writes:

    Goddard is the pure form–the originator!
    No hay mejor!

    • Bill writes:

      This and a large number of Goddard votes came in after the counting was done on May 6. But we loved seeing the energy and devotion, and hearing about what a great program Goddard is.

  4. I heartily vote VCFA.

  5. mary ann young writes:

    Rally round for VCFA. There is no question about its supremacy and authenticity and all the other nice-ities. VOTE!

  6. Meg writes:
  7. Jeff Eisenbrey writes:

    Goddard! We write, and the teachers respond.

  8. Steven writes:
  9. Lib Spry writes:

    Goddard College again and again.

  10. Lib Spry writes:

    Goddard College

  11. Ben writes:
  12. Cordelia Jensen writes:

    VCFA for sure.

  13. Chera writes:
  14. Aleta writes:

    Good Goddess it must be Goddard!

  15. Paula writes:

    Goddard College!!

  16. Jackie Kalbli writes:

    A vote for Ashland! Just check out the faculty!

  17. Kyle writes:

    Goddard. Respect the process.

  18. Tom S writes:

    Goddard, Goddard, Goddard

    With its Roots back to 1863
    Pitikin would be Proud

  19. Lynda Carney Goodness writes:

    Vermont College, of course! VT ROCKS!!

  20. Sarah writes:
  21. Ian writes:

    Sure I already voted but I just wanted to clarify some things in this vote, first off that’s sad ‘Bama that you keep having to write “dick” in your votes. I mean it’s cool, but VCFA tries to maintain ample amounts of both that, this, & most often we transform into butterflies “On Inter-Relatedness and the Universe,” while also rising as that old cuss, what you might call a Phoenix. Goddard we began together, you went your way, & we remained. At the same time, it’s unfair to put full residencies in contention with a writing school or I mean to say in the industry parlance. low-residencies, which is also to say, I’m not a fan of Chuck Palahniuk, but: “Rememeber this… we’re everyone you depend on. We’re the people who do your laundry and cook your food and serve your dinner. We [know] your bed. We [write] you while you’re asleep. We drive the ambulances. We direct your [words.] We are cooks and taxi drivers and we [write] everything about you. We process your [metaphors] and [direct your clauses.] We [write] every part of your life.” VCFA takes lines for a walk & unearths narratives y’all couldn’t find with a dream-catcher, cops have been called in response to our readings, we are the T-birds & Pink Ladies
    -Rizzo Out…

  22. Jen writes:
  23. Jen writes:
  24. liz writes:

    Vermont College of Fine Arts, what what!

  25. Aaron writes:

    Goddard all the way!

  26. Meg Feeley, Florida Atlantic U writes:
  27. Christine Ponder writes:

    Goddard, of course! That other VT location is just a wanna be. Substance, y’all, SUBSTANCE!

  28. Christine Ponder writes: