The Perils of Irene: Will the Shack Survive?

categories: Cocktail Hour / Getting Outside


The question on everyone’s mind this morning–the one that Jim Cantore has already asked in stentorian tones on the weather channel and that has Mr. Obama making a frowny face up on the Vineyard–is will the shack survive

“We don’t really care about Gessner’s house,” said a local official who refused to be named.  “We don’t even really care that much about his life.  But that shack is an important local landmark.  We will do everything we can to protect it.”

Some locals expressed anger toward the storm for seeming to make a beeline toward the famous writing shack.  “It’s like it has a vendetta,” said a guy in a hat.  Other locals, bitter folk, expressed resentment that so much media attention was being focused on an 8′ by 8′ plywood shed.  “Human lives are at stake here,” one woman whined. 

President Obama was said to be heard wondering if parts of My Green Manifesto were written in the shack.  Secret Servicmen assured him it was not, but, coincidence or not, soon after The President issued a state of emergency for North Carolina.  Meanwhile, despite Governor Bev Perdue’s order to evacuate the shack, Gessner has stayed put.

“Fuck Ya,”he said.  I’m riding this one out.  I’m going down with the ship.”

Sadly, despite other conscientious preparations, including sending his wife and daughter inland to his sister’s house in Chapel Hill, he somehow managed to neglect that most vital of hurricane supplies–beer.  At his news conference this morning he admitted, to gasps from the crowd, that he only had three Ranger IPAs.  

Still, at the moment, Gessner, remains highly caffeinated and relatively happy.  In fact, he has decided to spend the morning writing and watching the wind build as birds shoot across the marsh.

“It’s peaceful,” Gessner said.  “Except for Cantore yakking away outside my screen door.”

  1. Tommy writes:

    I never liked that guy in the hat, but this article was obviously written by an imposter! Hunkering down for a storm with a 40 minute supply of brew!?? Maybe the real Dave Gessner was swept out to sea, or marsh – as the case may be, and this imposter is regaling us with tales of caffination and super-saturation. “Bully!”

  2. bill writes:

    I don’t know how you’re going to fashion a raft out of three empties, but I’ve seen you swim and have great confidence you’ll find a bar.

  3. John Jack writes:

    I’m having a hard time reconciling an 8″ (inch) by 8″ (inch) shack with a writing retreat. Maybe it’s a tesseracted space as big as the whole outdoors inside, like reading and writing are when we shed our material realities so completely we enter their 8 1/2″ by 11″ letter sized page and 6″ by 9″ trade paperback book meaning spaces.

    Anyway, the first week at Freebooter U is over. Whew! Not too many unsustainable fox paws. I see your name, Mr. Gessner, cropping up hereabouts more often than I anticipated. Something about a homecoming at which you’ll be featured shortly, and the host digest of which I’ve come to as an assistant gopher in probationary training. I look forward to seeing you there.

  4. john lane writes:

    Aldo Leopold would be proud of your bucking up in your Shack in the face of wild nature. He liked to be cut off too in his shack by flood.Think of his famous “Come High Water” chapter in SCA as the surge rises around you. I quote, “How sweetly the spreading waters murmur…” And remember what Aldo liked best about high water was the objects it brought free to his farm.

  5. George de Gramont writes:

    I’ve been wondering about Shack & hope it will survive. Good move w/Nina & Hadley. I recommend “Brooklyn” pilsner & larger. Stay well & I can see you are staying cool in this Ecotone moment. Its called “Sang Froid”. Often mentioned by Jean Gabin!GdG.