NEVER HIT SEND, and Other Commandments for the Computer Age

categories: Cocktail Hour

7 comments

On the day after Rapture,

stone tablets I did find.

That spoke some deep truths

For the modern mind:

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I.  Don’t drink and Facebook.

(It should be somewhere posted.)

Remember that note

You wrote when you were toasted?

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Some have compared the

social sites to a cocktail party

But best not to wear a lanpshade,

And come on over-hearty.

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II. Never Hit Send

When angry or aroused.

Better wait a day

Until your fury has been doused.

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The thing that seemed so urgent,

When you were all hell-bent,

Will make you cringe and redden,

When you look back in Sent.

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III. Avoid cell phone soliloquies,

You know the kind I mean.

When you go on and on,

But then look down at the screen

And see the other person

has been many minutes gone,

The call was lost, but you, undaunted,

Just went on and on.

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IV. Don’t spam your friends.

Especially with Jokes.

No cute cats or comedy,

You see we’re busy folks.

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You may think you’re Mr. Funny,

With your great sense of humor,

But the few friends you have left

Will avoid you like a tumor.

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V. And while we’re at it,

Please don’t Reply All,

To a large message,

With points personal and small.

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It’s not an invitation,

To climb up on the stage,

You may invite titters,

More likely incur rage.

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VI. Texting in the car,

Has been much bemoaned.

But there are now very few of us,

Who have not texted or phoned.

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So you might be forgiven

For looking at your screen.

But please not at the light,

When it is turning green.

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VII.  Listen to the person

Standing in front of you.

Instead of staring down

Every second or two.

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Spend a quiet moment

with your child or your Mom.

Resist that itching urge,

to look down at your palm.

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VIII. When going to the Opera,

Or the movies, or the zoo,

Turn off your cell phone,

It’s not so hard to do.

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We don’t need to hear your ringing,

We don’t need to hear your phone,

We don’t need to hear some cheesy song

re-made as your ring tone.

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IX. Talk in a quiet voice,

When you are calling home,

Don’t address the airport,

Like an orator in Rome.

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Assume that other humans,

Have the capacity to hear,

And please dear god don’t wear a phone,

Jammed right into your ear.

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X. Take a break once in a while,

Look around, go for a walk.

Cease communication,

Turn off all things that squawk.

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Go to a quiet place,

Where you’re the only one,

Comtemplate the world,

You can post it when you’re done.