I come from a family of serious artists. RISD, Newark School of Fine and Industrial Arts, Pratt,etc.I studied Art History at U. London, tried Studio Art at UNH; decided I stank at it and took up writing (which I am only slightly better at, but stuck with it anyway) I remember 2-3am nights in deserted studio space of standing on one leg, my foot hitched high on the side of my other knee-pallet in hand, wetting my watercolor paper, humming. I loved the quiet, the feeling of being alone with my work. I write in the same way. I still sketch, take a tiny water color set to the beach and use salt water-I thinks it totally relaxing, because I don’t have to be good anymore.I sweat when I write because I have an inner audience to please (and sometimes an outer one.)
Anyway, your essay was lovely. Art is art, and it must have been a cathartic break. Watercolor is hard and I liked your efforts on the page, despite your own inner critic.